10.30.01 - 7:03 p.m. - i could be very wrong

i was waiting for a bus today and i saw an old woman walking with an old man and i wondered if they thought of themselves as "old."

oh, and i have noitced lately that i see old people in slacks and velcro sneakers and old wool hats turn around, turning out to be young people in thrift store slacks and pale striped sneakers and chic wool hats.

it's sorta odd that the young hip people KNOW that they're dressed like old people. it kinda pisses me off but it kinda doesn't, because what else is there to do about it?

and the old woman i was watching, she had this dog, right? and the dog was on this leash she kept on really tight. it was so tight that the dog couldn't really walk on his own. he/she/it was sorta jumping to keep its breath, you know? i wanted to tell the lady "hey, quit it" but i don't talk to strangers very well.

well, maybe the woman knew what she was doing and just didn't care. i felt so bad for it, it couldn't even WALK on its fuckin own, let alone real freedom to just run around and be a dog.

i stored this scenario in my head tonight, hoping to tell amy about it. but .. i'm putting it here instead. because i get the feeling that she doesn't really listen when i talk.

she sits on my bed, i sit on my bed. i'm usually struggling on the inside to not throw her under the covers and stay with her there. we talk. she talks, i listen. i talk, she listens.

i think.

and .. ok ok i think she hears me, but i don't know if she gets it. i always end up feeling unimportant.

i make no fuckin sense. i'm sorry amy. i just needed to bitch about this, because it's been happening lately, in my head at least. i could be wrong.

maybe it's because everything i do and see and think turns into something i want to tell her about, and i can't try to make her share all my thoughts like that because we're not the same person.

troz - diaryland - zort