08.13.01 - 1:36 a.m. - do you know where your head's at

okay i haven't really said much in a while and uh here goes:

yesterday i went downstate w/todd, dimitri, and adrian to visit some friends of theirs at urbana. and i guess it was alrite (just sitting there watching them talk shit about other people ...) except i was supposed to be home by 2 am, and todd was just "oh don't worry" and treated me like a wuss for telling him in a polite manner to hurry his ass up.

how long can 4 fucking guys sit around and talk shit? and not even a good conversation, you know?

i ended up home at 5 in the morning. my mom was pissed. i don't like dissapointig her. god i hate it how dependent i am on others for everything, like i should know how to take the amtrak home instead of sittting quiet and angry in the backseat trying not to bite my lip til it bleeds.

maybe everyone is dependent on others. everyone needs others to make it easier to pretend everything's okay.

troz - diaryland - zort