04.19.02 - 12:47 p.m. - where'd i get all these half-formed friends

last night i saw Cool Runnings. i dug the opening sequence more than the rest. and why didn't his lucky egg get rotten the way all MY lucky eggs do?

i saw it with jenn and ellie and kevin and some other people who i don't really remember. i feel bad when i don't remember people's names. it's like i failed to treat em like people or something. but they're just names, and i should probably just think of it that way. names are still nice, but i gotta remember to keep importance where it ought to be otherwise everything'll end up important, like what kind of soap i use or who finds waldo more often or why this tree in my livingroom is dead.

oh. i just made a bad pun. livingroom. the plant is dead. i call this ZenLame, since i didn't even know i made this pun. i am the fucking master of ZenLame, mothahfuckah. that's right, you are oedipus and i am not your mom.

i came home feeling not so great. it's like i have a brain cloud or something.
no offense (none taken, i am sure) but it's so easy to love or hate any of you.

i'm singing this in my head. i call it I Think I Might Be Dyslexic. what better way to make myself feel better than make fun of myself?:

on some days i don't have a heart
(i'm trying so hard to be stable i'm trying).
never told anyone this
i'm leaving and i didn't tell anyone.
i refuse to write you letters of the acquaintance sort
that's why i refuse to write you letters.
that's why i can't tell you anything anymore.

i used to laugh a little bit harder
than i really felt in my bones
thought it was worth it to see you smile
until that night you were cruel, and i was cruel
couldn't let go and accept each others' hands

it's too late now, it's too late
for me to tell you anything.
that's the way uh huh uh huh i like it (oh crapfuck wrong song)

troz - diaryland - zort