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06.02.02 - 7:39 a.m. - haley, you bag of spew.
my head hurts. i've been away for a while because i was buried alive in the desert for not paying up certain fan club debts. haley joel osment did it.
Dear Hale,
I'm sorry.
Love,
Franklin.
that makes the acronym DILF. other than that, i have been keeping busy. i got a job at a grocery store. whoa, i just spaced out for a whole minute staring at that banner ad. hm, now i don't feel like writing anymore. besides, it is early. i go back to sleep now.
haley: no! sleep is for losers!
me: i'm sorry hale, i gotta go now.
*pats a crying haley on the back and goes off to bed*