12.17.01 - 7:30 p.m. - dynamite

i find it interesting that me and amy both spent our saturdays with someone else.

except she didn't even think of me.

saturday was a lot like being with amy except jane giggles a lot more and she looks me in the eye a lot. it's kinda unnerving. i don't know why. it just is.

we took the metra train in the afternoon and ended up at the Nervous Center in the evening. she told me i was just like she pictured i'd be. that's really weird too because i don't look like much of anything. and it's also odd when someone first decides who you are based on your musical interests. because that's how jane first found me, the favorite bands thing on diaryland. it makes me want to erase my favorites list sometimes so i don't have to be sarcastic in my head like "so, do you think my musical taste is sexy?"

but i'm going too far here. jane is a sweet kid who wouldn't hang out with someone just because they like the get up kids or something.

sometimes i wonder about amy though.

i wish i would stop being bitter.

i also wish i was over her. i kinda don't wanna write this because i know she'll read this and get a big ego boost or something, but this is my diary so fuck it: she has this hold on me, i can't figure it out, there's a part of me that just won't let go of the past few months.

i'm a stupid kid sometimes but i think adults do this too. otherwise, tv lied to me.

troz - diaryland - zort